girl on film: gay politicians, not really gay hipsters, and korean serial killers

Day three of the Milwaukee Film Festival for me, and day two of my movie viewing experience.

After a shift of theatre managing at the Oriental Theatre, I caught the documentary Outrage, which I've been looking forward to for quite some time. The film focuses on hypocritical closeted politicians and the reason gay media outlets publicly out them. It thoughtfully explored the reasons politicians are and/or have been closeted (kudos to the "out" politicians who shared very personal stories in the film). It painted many of these politicians not just as despicable, but really, people who should be pitied for not being able to truly be their real selves. It expressed hope though that this may not be a problem as younger generations accept the LGBT community as part of the general community.

I ended up bailing on my fellow FUEL leaders for the Kings of Leon concert in favor of a much needed nap and the desire to catch the much-hyped Humpday instead. As I "status messaged" earlier, by age 29 I should've known I'd pick an indie film over a mainstream concert, and I should've saved my $25.

Definitely glad I caught Humpday. It was pretty darn hilarious, in that mumblecore Gen-Yish kinda way. At the same time, it quite genuinely portrayed relationships of best friends and (what I imagine) married couples. To sum it up, this movie's alternate title could have been "Zack & Marty Make a Porno" -- about two best friends (this time of the same gender) who consider making an adult film. Hilarity and self-reflection ensues. I also got my share of beard (thanks to actor Joshua Leonard) in this movie, since I'll be missing Built to Spill at Turner Hall tomorrow night. I had to giggle at the fact that the protaganist in the film was a transit planner because I can't imagine anyone that hipster-y attractive and adorably angsty working in my office. Perhaps I need to transfer to Seattle. I was glad to see this after Outrage, because films like this give me hope that the more open society is about issues of sexuality (and not treating sexual feelings like they're dirty, disgusting things to repress and NEVER, EVER, EVER share with ANYONE), the better we all will be toward addressing the real issues in this world (aren't things like climate change, terrorism, collapse of global economic systems just a WEE bit more important than gay marriage? Just a wee?).

I ended up meeting up with my old pal Howard via Twitter, as well as his friend Tonia, for the midnight movie. The Chaser was probably the best serial killer thriller I've seen since Silence of the Lambs. It was funny, it was touching, it was violent, it was gutwrenching, it was DRAINING. But, whoa. I don't know if I could ever watch it again, but I would highly recommend it. I really hope they don't bastardize it if Hollywood remakes it for the American market. After all, the glory of indie and foreign films is you just KNOW they're not going to end well. No matter how much they tease you that it might.

Unfortunately, on the bike ride home, I encountered something that is much more sinister than Korean serial killers -- American drunk driving culture. Of course it also didn't help that some drunk idiot stole the front light off my bike (there goes another $12 down the drain). I had two assholes speed by me (one had to be going over 90 mph down Farwell Avenue, which I believe is a 30 zone), but the scariest of all was this shithead that lurched through a red light at Farwell/Brady/Cambridge nearly taking me and a pedestrian out in the process. Thank God my primordial scream (it's amazing what vocal capacity you have as headlights move directly toward your side) stopped the guy enough for him to slow down, swerve around me and yell "BITCH!" Of course, instead of getting his license plate like a sane person, I spouted off a string of obscenities that would make a sailor blush as he sped away. The pedestrian was like "YES! Thank you!", but as soon as I'd pedaled into safety I burst into sobs.

In some aspects I guess I can thank these drunk idiots -- the adrenaline gave me enough energy to write this blog entry. Off to bed before a full slate of flicks tomorrow.

Saying Goodbye: Trouble the Cat

I realize I haven't blogged since I returned from my vacation, so it's pretty crappy of me to break my silence by eulogizing a cat. Especially a cat that wasn't mine. But if you don't understand, then you never knew Trouble Landberg. And if you don't understand, you can skip this blog.

Trouble was one of a handful of cats I've ever truly liked in my life. This may have been because she didn't set me sneezing and wheezing, but it was more than that.

Trouble was a really friendly cat. Almost dog-like in her demeanor. She always wanted to be petted and always had to sniff around our wine and cheese. I would like to believe she was just as into "LOST" and "Mad Men" as the humans that invaded her space every Wednesday and Sunday evenings. I hope in kitty heaven she gets to watch these shows. As I posted to Facebook, maybe she already knows what's going to happen during the last season of "LOST."

Speaking of "LOST," Trouble has been a constant in the lives of a core group of twentysomething friends throughout our post-college years. She's been there through all of our break-ups and new relationships, drunken nights and hungover days, Superbowl Parties and holidays -- we've all matured and changed, but Trouble was all the while a purring, happy little furball.

Trouble left one of her nine lives the evening of September 17, 2009.

Trouble is survived by her son Boo (who is a pretty good cat too) and her mom, Becky, who turns 30 tomorrow. (God really has a sense of humor, doesn't he?) My heart goes out to them.

She will be sorely missed.

alleged?!?!

THIS is why I struggle with the Catholic Church. From MSNBC.com:

Brazil girl, alleged rape victim, aborts twins
The procedure on the 9-year-old girl draws complaints from Catholic church

RIO DE JANEIRO - A 9-year-old girl who was carrying twins, allegedly after being raped by her stepfather, underwent an abortion Wednesday despite complaints from Brazil's Roman Catholic church.

Police said the stepfather has been jailed since last week.

Abortion is illegal in Brazil, but judges can make exceptions if the mother's life is in danger or the fetus has no chance of survival.

Fatima Maia, director of the public university hospital where the abortion was performed, said the 15-week-old pregnancy posed a serious risk to the 80-pound girl.

"She is very small. Her uterus doesn't have the ability to hold one, let alone two children," Maia told the Jornal do Brasil newspaper.

But Marcio Miranda, a lawyer for the Archdiocese of Olinda and Recife in northeastern Brazil, said the girl should have carried the twins to term and had a cesarean section.

"It's the law of God: Do not kill. We consider this murder," Miranda said in comments reported by O Globo.

Calls to Miranda were not immediately returned.

Brazil is home to more Catholics than any other nation.

Also, "alleged"?!?! Why do we even need to use the word in this case? Clearly if a nine-year-old girl is pregnant it's not by her own choosing. Okay, I understand maybe the "alleged" is director toward the stepfather being the criminal. So why can't they say "a nine-year-old girl who was raped, allegedly by her stepfather?"

milwaukee props: farewell atomic records

Dear Atomic Records,

You used to intimidate me, I'm not gonna lie. Back when I was a tragically unhip college student, slowly learning the ropes of indie rock from my older boyfriend (who I distinctly remember lining up outside your doors to buy Kid A while I sat in his apartment studying), I was a bit wary of walking into you alone. We broke up and there was some time where I was insulated from the eastside, but learning about alt.country from my drinking buddy and Pitchfork from my co-worker.

When I bought my record player in 2002, my co-worker took me back through your doors and I purchased a used copy of More Songs About Buildings and Food by The Talking Heads from you. I didn't buy anything new on vinyl because I was a bit nervous about choosing poorly.

At some point over the past seven years I stopped being nervous. I found my own groove in Milwaukee's eastside and discovered places to hear music. From clubs like Onopa/Stonefly and Mad Planet to radio stations like WMSE and Radio Milwaukee to the incredible Pabst Theater group to music festivals in Milwaukee and Chicago to local online fanzines, I morphed into a timid listener to an active music consumer. One of my fondest music purchase memories is buying Funeral the day the vinyl came out and delicately holding it as I biked home.

Of course I'd love to say that I was independently wealthy and spent all my money buying hard copies of music at Atomic Records. Alas, that's not the case. Please forgive me for getting music online and borrowing from friends. I didn't know it was going to kill you. I know my visits to you were pretty sporadic, increasing in the past year or so when I could pop in and buy tickets for Pabst shows from you as well. Seemed like things were going okay. I wish I could've done more.

It was pretty surreal walking through your doors on Saturday (with my aforementioned alt.country drinking buddy and his equally musically knowledgable wife) and knowing it would be the last time. I'm sorry I knocked over my tea on your floor. I'm sorry I couldn't buy every amazing 45, LP, CD and poster I spotted amongst your treasures. I'm sorry if I didn't fully represent your customer base when I gave a soundbite to the woman from WUWM interviewing people (yes, I did have a Culture Club album on the top of my stack -- it was only $2!). I'm sorry I couldn't single handedly save the independent record industry.

One of my biggest regrets is that I never got to see an in-store at Atomic. It sucks that it takes your closing to make me realize that I need to seize upon more of the cool underground things going on in this town and not waste half my years fretting about if I'm hip enough to go to them. It sucks that I realized that a little too late about you.

You'll be missed.

Love,
Meghan

vaguely blogging it out: alternatives

I'm exhausted.

Today was a definite pendulum. I can't go into a lot of detail at the moment, but I've got a lot running through my mind.

Up until this year I'd never personally known anyone who committed suicide.

Now there are two people on that list. Not friends, moreso folks with whom I butted heads on more than one occasion, but never people whom I wished actual harm to befall. People who could do a lot of harm themselves when their bipolar disorder or depression flared toward the negative, but people who had glimmers of good intentions when thinking and acting positively.

My heart goes out to their friends and families.

It seems the older we get the more "crazies" we all know. Unfortunately my experiences this year have just shown me that some of these folks are just crying out for help.

The strange thing is reflecting upon this, there are two other people I know with bipolar family members who also took their own lives this year. Is something up with 2008? Was there a prescription drug that expired this year? It's worrisome that when you google "bipolar" the first link is GlaxoSmithKline.

There are of course foundations and associations for the plethora of psychological illnesses out there which could lead an individual down this path. PostSecret, which I've mentioned on this blog before, does raise a lot of awareness on this issue. They heavily promote the Hope Line as an option for those contemplating suicide.

There is always a better alternative.