Wednesday, December 17, 2008

30 by 30: audio assault

Last night I pointed out that while I enjoy the idea of "nice," sometimes I'm not so pleasant myself. Few things put me in a foul mood faster than terrible music. I'm also not a morning person, so bad tunes before I'm fully awake also poison my day.

I thought I'd written before about why I attend the spin class that I do, but I guess not. It's not by accident that I go on Wednesday. Kelly isn't just a fantastic instructor, but she usually has an extremely palatable soundtrack for a 6 a.m. class. While I can handle the pop music of an aerobics class in the evening, in the morning I need something a bit more chill. She typically has an inoffensive mix of '90s folk-rock, world music and euro-remixed Madonna songs. Her tracks always flow together nicely and keep you focused on the "road."

This morning I thought she'd lost her mind.

We warmed up to some pleasant Eddie Vedder solo song, so I didn't think anything was wrong. But then came some crap-rock song as we got into our workout. Followed by my worst nightmare -- CREED -- the WORST BAND EVER. EVER. EVER TO EXIST ON THE PLANET OR IN THE UNIVERSE.  I didn't know what to do. I felt ill. And it wasn't just because of the 4-minute climb. I tried to sing another song in my head to combat it, but no Scott Stapp's awful vocals and terrible lyrics were raping my entire auditory system, I couldn't escape.

I'm not sure what followed immediately after. I mean at that point I was just glad for it to be over. We still had about 35 minutes left so I knew nothing worse could come on at this point. I was correct, but barely. We endured Big & Rich (but at least everyone knows "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" is a joke), some more crap-rock, Kelly Clarkson (okay, I'll admit, guilty pleasure on that one), Van Halen's "Right Now" (which actually did work well for spin), and that horrible "Sweet Home Alabama"/"Werewolves of London" rip off by Kid Rock or something like that. There were a couple techno-y remixes thrown in there, but in addition to being horrific, the playlist was super schizophrenic. Nothing flowed. It was like the devil took over an iPod shuffle.

Finally as we were winding down, and I was thinking about how I was going to have to find a new spin class (and it was a killer workout today too!), Kelly announced "thanks to Melissa for the guest playlist today!"

THANK GOD. My instructor has not gone insane, instead the girl I already don't like in the class just solidified her position as Public Enemy #1 (this girl REFUSES to have the fan on here when it gets warm in the room, which means if you're stuck next to her, especially when the sun starts streaming through the windows, you're liable to pass out).

Of course it took all I could to not shout out "NOOOOOO" when everyone complimented her on a "great set."

At least I have a work meeting with WMSE this morning to reassociate myself with safe and positive music. And I'm listening to TV on the Radio to clear my mind at the moment.

What is the worst "trapped" musical experience you've ever had?


  1. Well, it's not always music. Sometimes just the noise of television - the inanities of commercials, the scams. When I get to my doctor's office I turn the volume way down so I can read. Wish I could do that on the bus.
    Bill (bus rider, advocate, noisy citizen)

  2. Creed?!? I'm so glad you survived. Yuck. All of their songs are terrible, but my nemesis is that With Arms Wide Open song. I really hope it wasn't that one.

  3. Yeah, I hate how TV is now everywhere I used to enjoy reading while waiting for something, like airports, buses, and doctor's offices. The airport bigscreen blaring headline news at 90% volume feels like a tiny knife in the ribs after a long day of travel.


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